Feeling Good in Your Body is a Mindset
Last week, my body was great! Today, I hate my body. That’s 100% true.… OR IS IT???
Really, a number of things happened in the past week, and while it’s true that within the week my diet and workout habits slightly shifted, it’s unrealistic to think that my body changed so substantially that I would physically see it. The truth is, it’s more likely that my mind shifted.
Even when we’ve done our work, telling ourselves we’re beautiful and being kind to ourselves, and all that good stuff, it can take the subtlest of triggers to shift how we’re feeling. If we’re unaware of what these triggers are, we can slip into that old narrative that we’ve unfortunately grown so comfortable with. But if we’re able to live in the present moment and become aware of those patterns, then we can realize how ridiculous it is to be punishing ourselves for how we look.
I mean, we are so. much. more than our bodies. We are living, breathing beings. But also, we get to have our bodies!!! And, with all of the weird, unique little details, our bodies are beautiful! Yes, they are beautiful for even the simplest of functions- our hands work tools, or feet ground us. But we can also have sex, dance, make music and art, and sometimes, we might even have the chance to create new life. And even when it comes to loving our outward appearance, those moments when we’ve slipped into content states and let our guards down because we’re actually enjoying being in our own skin, we get a glimpse of what its like to truly understand that others are delighting in looking upon us.
Of course, the more we trust that we’re beautiful- regardless of what we see when we look at ourselves in the mirror (or in photographs or on screen) the more we get to feel that way. The problem is, it’s not really very easy at all to trust yourself; especially because it means that in the process, you probably have to face some sad truths and hang out with them for a little bit. Explore them. It’s not always so bad- sometimes you realize that the reason you actually feel fucked is because you’re comparing yourself to manipulative societal bullshit standards that benefit from making you feel incomplete.
Tomorrow, who knows what I’ll think about myself, my body, my existence; whether I’ll love myself, or hate myself, or what. But no matter how many times I forget it, somewhere in me is the knowledge that it’s my choice. After all, I didn’t wake up today feeling all fine and dandy and glowing… I was down on myself for not wanting to a work out at Pure Barre (where I got a job so I would be motivated to work out more (especially because I’m getting paid and my trip is coming up.)) I’m working on my posture which means staring in the mirror at where my neck juts forward, and trying not to give up hope that over time I’ll stand up straighter.
Regardless of how I felt, I did some nice things for myself. I meditated, I watched the pattern the rain made as it met the surface of the pool, I did a little work. And, although last week’s article flowed easily through me in an aggressive spiral, this week’s article made me anxious- not knowing what to write about, procrastinating, unsure if it would flow, wondering if I am capable? Well, here I am, finishing this up, writing to you about things I am slowly starting to learn myself and in doing so, making the choice to shift my focus on things that are profoundly, inexplicitly beautiful- like us.
