Dating Advice: Can you be happy and stay in a strong relationship knowing your significant other is talking to other girls online?
Yes, you can, but only if you’re okay with it.
It can be really tough to wrap your head around these types of scenarios, because our society doesn’t really advocate for any relationship that isn’t the “heterosexual monogamous, one person forever, prince charming saves the day” norm.
But, believe it or not, you are not alone. There is a whole plethora of relationships out there that allow for a significant other to fulfill sexual and/or emotional desires outside of the relationship. The reason for this? Well, it might suck to hear, but it’s kinda ridiculous to assume your partner will never be attracted or want attention from other people for… forever.
Now, I’m not saying you have to take it there, AT ALL. But, in learning about these relationships, I have learned a great deal about overcoming jealousy and accepting that just because your partner might find someone else attractive, doesn’t mean they love you, need you, or desire you any less.
I’m attaching a blog post I wrote that I think could really help you overcome the feelings of jealousy you might experience. What I’ve Learned So Far From Online Dating a Poly Guy
Sometimes, attention from other people can help your partner feel more desirable and confident. That confidence can translate to your relationship in positive ways, and YOU get to reap the benefits! In fact, since you’re playing a role in the additional attention your partner is getting from others, his love and affection for you could flourish.
The important thing here is that you are both extra communicative about your wants and needs. Just because he is talking to other girls online does not mean that he should be neglecting you and your needs/wants. You should still feel like you come first.
In this territory, I can’t emphasize enough how important it is to be able to communicate with each other what the boundaries are… for both of you. Maybe you’re not interested now, but if a time comes when you might want to chat with other dudes online, is that acceptable? If he wanted to meet one of these girls in person, is that acceptable? You can take it as you go, but there needs to be trust and honesty in order for you to ever feel good about what’s going on. As long as that is there and continues to be there, if you love each other and respect each other, you can be happy.
