Dating Advice: If you need constant reassurance in a relationship, does that mean you’re insecure? Or you have problems trusting others to mean what they say?
The majority of the time, need for constant reassurance is due to insecurities.
When you really break down the trust issues (in the context of a healthy relationship) lack of trusting others to mean what they say is a direct response to lack of trust in yourself- specifically a lack of trust that you’re good enough for your partner.
It’s a lot more difficult to believe my partner when he or she says “I think you’re beautiful,” if I don’t believe I’m beautiful… because in my mind, if I’m not beautiful, then how could it possibly be true for someone else to think I am? This might manifest in me having a problem in trusting what my partner says, but the root problem is my insecurities.
Needing constant reassurance could mean other things as well, like that someone has a very vocal “love language,” and being reassured is the best way that they can interpret the love someone is giving them.
It could also mean that your partner is being deceitful, and giving you reason to question their love, hence the need for constant reassurance.
Most commonly, though, is that it stems from insecurities. It’s really tough to accept love from others until you love yourself.
Needing that extra assurance from your partner can be completely normal and fine. It becomes problematic when you’re relying solely on your partner for your self-esteem. Although your partner should step up to the plate when it comes to your needs, it’s not fair to make them responsible for your confidence and happiness, because if you’re not doing the work on self-love, then they’re putting an extreme amount of effort towards a fruitless endeavor.
